My husband and I have greatly benefitted from this sub since getting our puppy when he was 3 months old. He is 4 months now and has officially spent a whole month with us (woohoo!) I canāt count the number of times scrolling through this sub has brought me so much hope and comfort so hopefully this too makes it to someone who needs this encouragement as well.
Context we live in an apartment and Iām currently doing my post grad studies online for a year before I return to work (one of the reasons why we thought it would be opportune to get a puppy now). My husband works a day job and does not have the option to wfh currently.
The first 2 weeks were true torture, I saw someone here describe it as being like a prisoner in their own home and I couldnāt relate more. There were times I broke down because I was so done cleaning up his pee with one hand and holding him in the other while he struggles to lunge at his puddle of pee. I could only shower when my husband came home and I could only pee after tiptoeing to the toilet when puppy fell asleep.
What worked/didnāt work for us: 1. Playpen restriction
We did crate training and playpen in the living area, it wouldnāt work and he would go berserk once any of us were out of sight. We then restricted him to just the kitchen cause that was more accessible and was fully puppy proofed. However he was barking/whining a lot once he couldnāt see me and it meant that I had to be within/around the kitchen, which made me feel even more so like a prisoner, now in my kitchen. We tried leaving him alone in the kitchen but he found out how to jail break by running towards the playpen barriers (admittedly they are not the most sturdy, theyāre plastic āsheetsā clipped together in a line) and throwing his entire body on it. However, we noticed (via the camera) that he was a lot more calm once he was out of the kitchen and was happily free roaming the home (room doors closed) and we thought maybe he just didnāt like being restricted so we attempted to let him just free roam the house. Of course, that meant a lot more accidents and a lot of chasing after him and cleaning up. It also meant that the kitchen restriction came in whenever I couldnāt deal with it anymore haha. This went on until about the third week when we noticed that he has stopped having any accidents! Today, he free roams the house and even when he is playing in the living room, he would run to the kitchen where his pee tray is then return when heās done whenever he needs.
- Crate training
I know itās good, butā¦ we kinda gave up on it. He sleeps well around the house throughout the day, he has certain spots where he loves ā infront of the fridge, beside our coffee table, and it works! However, we do leave the crate in our bedroom at night with the playpen and he does go in to sleep so I consider that a win.
- Desensitisation and separation anxiety
We worked really hard on this the first few weeks, and he cried and barked a lot. It gave me so much anxiety just leaving, even more so because we live in an apartment and have 5 other families on the same floor. But we stuck to it and kept going, for just an hour for a meal nearby, groceries, and gradually increased it. The longest we have been gone so far was about 3-4 hours! We gave him a chew with some toys, but he mostly just slept. He still barks once he hears the main door close, but it now lasts maybe 7 minutes at max which is a huge change from him barking for 15 minutes straight from us just being in the study. He still is quite a Velcro dog, and wants to be near us but he has also grown so much where he now can walk away from us in the living room to have a nap in the kitchen! I can now also go to the toilet freely knowing that he will just be waiting outside without barking or crying. He also plays really well on his own! Iāve learnt to give him space to learn to play on his own and it has gotten so much better now. I had the impression that he needed to be entertained every waking moment, but I realised that he actually doesnāt and if I just did my own thing, he will learn that he can just do his own thing too, which he did!
- Walks!!!
We had to wait for all his vaccinations to be done, but once we started bringing him on his daily walks, it really helped to get him to rest in the day and eliminate his night witching! Such a game changer for us really because his witching hour was truly horrendous. Think crazy zoomies in the apartment and mad barking and biting.
We still have bad days, days where he seems to wake up from the wrong side of the crate, where heās barking for what seems to be no reason at all or nipping at our ankles. He chews on things he shouldnāt be chewing on and the list goes on, but heās a smart puppy and every time he wakes up from his nap all groggy and is the most cuddliest baby, I am reminded that he has already come so far and has grown so much. This is a 4 month old puppy we are talking about! He hits 5 months in about a week, and maybe weāll check in again then!
If youāre in the puppy trenches and youāve read the entirety of this, trust me when I say that it truly does get better. There is so much information out there on what you should do what you can do what you could try, but remember that every dog is different and do what works for you! I got really stressed thinking this way was THE way and that we should do this or that because everyone does it and it works and itās good for the dogs! It does get really overwhelming, but do what works for you and if it doesnāt work, try something else! It took us awhile to get to where we are, and I believe youāll get there too.