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I adopted a rescue two nights ago after going through all the checks etc with the rescue centre and I’m immediately regretting it. I was never that fussed but kind of felt a bit pressured from people that it’s great etc. So I did.

It’s a seven month old collie cross. I did everything to prep for it. Got everything that was needed but didn’t expect the amount of work so far. He shits everywhere. I took a few days off work to start training. Today I’ve been taking him out side to the same spot after breakfast this morning and at regular intervals all day. He’s not peed or pooped. Between that I’ve either crated him where he had a few naps or tethered him to me so he isn’t always in the crate.

I haven’t slept in two nights. I’m trying to keep him downstairs. First night I had him upstairs and when I let him out of crate in the morning he immediately pissed and shat on carpet. So I thought downstairs will be better as he was down here most of the time anyway. Last night I snuck up to bed when he went to sleep and he went nuts. Barking, whining and attacking the crate. So I had to sleep down stairs and then he chilled out but I didn’t sleep. I’ve spoke toenail and friends and they’re telling me to wise up and stick at it. But I have a bad anxiety thing. Haven’t eaten properly since I got him and am in a constant state of panic. What should I do?

If you re on here, theres a good chance, like me, you have a new puppy, and have been struggling. You re overwhelmed, its so much harder than you thought, the puppy is so difficult etc.

So you look up solutions to each issue that comes up whackamole style, buy more gear, watch more videos, hoping each time it will be the magic bullet that makes things easier and life can go back to normal.

And like me, you might be getting increasingly frustrated at all the advice and help out there, because, to be blunt, its all completely contradictory and fearmongering, and you just want help.

My experience, such as it is, of a new puppy, has taught me this:

• Puppy blues is overwhelmingly due to naive or incorrect expectations on THE HUMANS PART. You might have known it was 'gonna be hard', but you just didnt fully understand how much your life was going to change overnight, and that reality is very jarring and scary initially

• The 2nd biggest issue is fear or lack of understanding over developmental time scales, especially with the guff some people post on here about how their 9 week old sleeps 3 hours a go never bites them. Why hasnt he perfectly learnt this skill immediately? Why is he not paying attention? Why is he still biting so much? What am i doing wrong? Comparison is the thief of joy

If you ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS, both of the pup and yourself, this whole thing becomes soooooo much easier. It is hard, and stressful, and thats ok. You re not doing anything wrong, especially if you re on here agonising about being perfect. The pup isnt doing anything, hes being a puppy. Training takes TIME, weeks and months of time. Its ok if they dont get it. Its ok.

Adjust your expectations, and be loving, patient and persistent, and, like new shoots in spring, you will find yourself starting to notice changes little by little.

Love, patience, and persistence, and above all, listen to YOUR pup. Trainers and 'experts' can certainly help and provide guidance, but what works for one or a few dogs isnt necessarily going to work for yours, AND THATS OK. Within reason, try to work WITH your pup, not against them.

Has anyone crate trained using a divider in an Impact crate?

My boyfriend and I are getting a German shepherd puppy soon.

I like the Impact crates because they collapse and have a handle for easier traveling.

What was your experience crate training with an Impact crate?

Was it easy to clean?

Easy for travel?

Did you crate your own divider? The Impact divider is $200, which is insane.

We have a puppy-mill rescue Bernese Mountain dog (age 3 now, we've had her since five months old) that has figured out how to access any food left unattended on any table or counter level surface for even a minute. She's been on moderate food restrictions for several weeks because she is overweight per the vet – we're following their guidance.

We have five kids, mostly young, so it is simply not possible for us to prevent any food from being unattended. This week, she probably got close to $100 worth of food, mostly treats that we had bought (and then rebought and then god damn it re-re-bought as replacements) that were intended for one of our kid's birthdays today. One case happened when we got interrupted in the middle of putting groceries away. This morning, I had left the cupcakes I bought for her to take to school on the counter briefly (I tried to put them where I thought the dog couldn't reach) while we went upstairs to brush teeth, but they were gone when we came back downstairs. I'm about to lose my mind, especially because she also chewed up multiple library books overnight (she seeks them out from couches and side tables where the kids leave them), which seem tastier than regular books for whatever reason. She's probably cost us about $500 in library books in the past couple of years. (Don't even get me started on what she's done to the new carpeting, even though we have a dog door.) We cannot afford this, especially right now.

We took her to obedience training in her first year (and she wasn't our first dog, so we had some know-how already), but I really don't know how to use those skills to address these sorts of behaviors that she does when our back is turned, especially because the rewards of eating a whole package of cupcakes are so large.

Does anyone have advice? We can try to do better with keeping all food out of her reach, but I'm afraid that's nearly impossible for a house like ours. I'm starting to wonder this dog is a poor match for our family.