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I just need to vent. Bear with me.

I've wanted a Basenji for years. I have never in my life gone without a dog of my own, from the time I was about 7 years old, until my heart dog passed away in old age and then I moved to a new country for work. Living without a dog felt bizarre, but I knew it was unwise to get a dog in uncertain circumstances. After two years settling into my life abroad, it finally felt like the right time, and I planned for several months. I met with a Basenji breeder in November who was expecting a litter, and after several talks, we agreed it was a perfect fit. By early December, I was able to sign a pre-contract to bring home a puppy in March. I was thrilled!

At the same time, in early December, I started dating and became official with my current boyfriend. Due to unforeseen circumstances, he needed to move in with me in February. Since bringing home the puppy in March (about 3 weeks ago) she is increasingly attached to my bf rather than me, and it's breaking my heart.

I know it's selfish to think this way, but I spent a lot of time, effort, and money to get her, and frankly, she was in my mind long before any notion of a boyfriend came along— "we" did not get a puppy together, I got this puppy for myself and planned for ages. My bf has never had dogs himself, so he has no initiative in her care (nor should he). I am solely responsible for her training and her well-being in general. I get up in the night to take her outside, and I wake up at the crack of dawn to hand-feed her and walk her. I am the exclusive source of food, outside time, mental stimulation, etc. The extent of his contribution is taking her outside to pee maybe once a day (or once every other day), or joining us on a walk now and then.

Yet, she 100% prefers cuddling with him rather than me. If she was previously cuddling with me and he joins on the couch, she will more often than not switch over to him. It's honestly to the point I don't get much cuddling from either of them, because they're curled up on the couch together for hours every day with no room for me lol. She's only 13 weeks, so a lot of her time is spent napping while cuddled up on him. Again, I know this is immature of me, but I'm feeling like chopped liver. She's a dog, so it's not her fault, but I feel so damn unappreciated. Add to this, she is a very bitey girl (typical for Basenji puppies, I know) but especially with me. If I am graced with her on my lap, she is constantly biting, and if she follows me around the house, she is biting at my ankles. Even on walks, she is biting at my pants legs. It's not this bad with my bf, and instead she very sweetly licks his hands or mouthes without biting.

I imagine this is how real mothers feel, tbh! I'm exhausted from keeping up with her, working around her potty schedule, and totally broke. I can't have a social life for the moment, while bf gets to go out, and even if I did go out, that would mean more 1-1 bonding time for them without me around to spoil it. I am not at all complaining about the responsibility of caring for her, I'm happy to do it, but I didn't get a dog just to keep myself busy with more chores. I wanted a canine companion. Instead, I am left feeling more lonely and unloved. Sorry for being so whiny!! I am hoping this will pass!!!

Our puppy is turning 5 months next week, and we are finally going out for a nice dinner with friends at a restaurant in two weeks – after not going out without the puppy since we adopted her on December 22nd (Yes, we know she was too young. She was seized in a humane case and the owners lied about her age to the police and the rescue). Our friends are joking that this dinner is our first postpartum outing, but I feel like that time period needs its own name. Maybe if it had a name, people would realize what a huge undertaking and adjustment it is to adopt a tiny puppy. This is our 4th dog and we honestly forgot how it is. The fact we unknowingly took her home at 5 weeks didn’t help.

My puppy from the start has been amazing as far as potty training goes , he comes from a farm and I believe always been outside so he has always held in his wee and gone to the toilet outside when we take him. He is 12 weeks old and over the last few days he has started weeing in his crate / on his bed I’d say from sometimes once to other times a handful of times a day. I would like to add we have two cats who aren’t exactly overly happy about him being here but they haven’t had close contact at all and they kind of just hiss at him from a far but it hasn’t really seemed like that’s bothered him. I wonder if it could be related or am I just thinking to deep into it ?

We have a 16 week old puppy, we got him at 11 weeks. He is AMAZING at some things, he sleeps in his crate 12 hours at night, he takes all naps in there wonderfully, no barking or freaking out. He has a lot of adult teeth and doesn’t usually grab/chew on things such as shoes, random items(sometimes he does) he hasn’t had any accidents in almost THREE weeks. He’s golden. BUT- we’ve been working with a trainer since we got him and every day during lunch I do a training session with kibble and he does great during training. He knows sit, down, stay(50%), heel(50%) and recall is semi good. Sometimes in the house he just straight up ignores us though. We have him sit when we take leash off and sometimes he just ignores us. Also in public everything is OUT of focus. He doesn’t heel, he pulls, acts crazy, he won’t sit, etc. We are also teaching settle on a mat in public. I have him lay on the mat and give treats when laying, but he seems to be regressing with it almost and keeps standing up etc.

I’m just so upset as he’s so amazing in another ways and I have never felt puppy blues until now 🙁

Tips on all of this is very appreciated

Got my dog at 7:00 pm. We practiced sit, potty trained on my balcony, and he was in a dog pen area or his crate the whole time. No access to anything except for puppy food and puppy treats.

He was sleeping in his crate, he did so good, he was a natural. At this point he had been fully alert and monitored for every second except when he was sleeping with his snuggle puppy because we put a sheet over his crate. I heard him move at 2 am so I got up to let him out to potty.

He was foaming at the mouth, head lolling back and forth, and then started seizing. We took him to an emergency vet and they couldn’t locate a cause without extensive medical treatment- it was either a liver shunt or epilepsy, but he was so young and a liver shunt would be $10,000 dollars easily to deal with… and confirming epilepsy was extremely expensive too.

Well, under their care he had 6 more seizures in 5 hours. Even after several doses of the sedative, and him being in close to an induced coma, he was still seizing.

At 8:30 am the vet recommended not taking him home to see if his conditions improved, and putting him down instead.

The person who I got the dog from (not a breeder, his dogs just had puppies) had noticed him “zoning out” every now and then. I was worried it was a medical issue but he said he was pretty sure the dog was just really calm. I feel so stupid for not reading in to that more, but I also feel like if I hadn’t adopted him for those few hours, his issue would probably have gone unnoticed for some time… the original owner has a pretty chaotic life and is not a very attentive pet owner.

I just feel so guilty, and now I’m down $860 and just staring at all the puppy stuff i’ve bought. Was there anything I could have done? I had the money for all the regular vet care he could need, but this was just sooo much money, literally on day 1.

I wanted a puppy so bad. I’m heartbroken. RIP, little guy.

Edit: Thank you so much everyone for your kind comments, they have been helping me process everything. I know stories like this are hard to hear, so I really appreciate taking the time to read and respond.