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Feeling like a failure
I’ve read a lot of threads here with the similar sentiment so I know it’s a somewhat normal feeling to have. I have a 4 month old English cocker spaniel puppy that has been with me for about a month now.
I wanted to start of strong, crate training, tether training, lock in the routine. Nights were the most difficult the first two weeks. Crate was directly next to my bed but he would cry for hours. Tried putting my headphones in and telling myself that I have to push through but after two weeks my nervous system was out of sorts which I felt was throwing his off and so I decided to take some steps back and let him sleep in the bed.
Nights are now fine with no issues. We wake up he immediately goes outside while I get dressed and get his food ready. He knows to go into his crate for food. He eats in there and then he sits when he’s done to get let out. Super proud of him on this part. Then we go for a 15-20 minute walk around the neighborhood.
Here is where I’m at a loss. I work from home but I do need to get to the gym 4-5 times a week for about two hours which is for the most part the only time he spends alone in the crate. And he HATES it. I can hear him crying all way down the street. And for the last week when I get back he has pooped all over the crate and looks like he eats some of it. This is now the third day in a row this happened and today I was only gone for 20 minutes. I don’t understand what is happening. I feel like I’m failing him and I don’t know what I need to shift around to make sure this does not become a habit.
He’s a good puppy but I can’t seem to get him to understand that he needs to go when we go for our walks and not in the crate. On top of that, he eats very well so I don’t know why he’s trying or wanting to eat it. Should I feed him outside of his crate? Do I need to go back to stern crate training at night? Longer walks?
submitted by /u/Hungry-Respect6895
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Resource guarding or aggression?
Hi guys
So I’ve just had an incident with my 4 nearly 5 month old pup. He’s a big old dog already so Ngl it scared me a little bit. He was sitting next to me on the sofa, he was chewing my glove that I’d literally just put down (yep! I know. Rookie mistake) anyway, I went to retrieve said glove and he growled and went to bite my hand. This is my first dog so, as much as I’ve read as much information as I can, this is the first time I’ve experienced this behaviour. I thought resource guarding was for food?
I didn’t snatch it from him, i stroked his head and then said ‘leave’ & tried to retrieve it.
What did I do wrong?
Is this aggression or resource guarding?
Thanks guys
submitted by /u/holyfucknutzz
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Overwhelmed with an 11-week-old puppy after returning to WFH – looking for support
Hello all, first time post here and rather nervous. I’m reaching out because I’m really struggling and could use some support or perspective from people who’ve been through this.
For context, I got my 11-week-old Golden Retriever 10 days ago. The first week went relatively well, if exhausting — I had time off work and could focus on her. This week I’ve returned to work and things have felt like they’ve unravelled. I’m feeling constantly overwhelmed, anxious, tearful, and am having panic attacks during the day. I dread waking up in the morning and find it hard to relax even when she’s napping because I’m bracing for the next wake-up.
I work from home in a small apartment (4th floor). She has a pen and crate in the living room. She can settle for enforced naps, but only if I lie or sit directly in front of the crate. If I don’t, she barks loudly for 15+ minutes before eventually settling. I know some barking is normal, but mentally I’m really struggling to tolerate it, and I’ve lost confidence in distinguishing attention barking from genuine needs (toilet, water etc), which has added to my anxiety. This has made focused work almost impossible and is causing a lot of work-related guilt as well.
If I leave the room while she’s awake, she cries briefly and then stops — but only because she starts destroying her toilet setup (fake grass with puppy pad underneath) or the waterproof mat under the pen. She chews the plastic and fragments, which feels unsafe and adds another layer of stress.
I’ve read about puppy blues and thought I was prepared, but I’m shocked by how intense this feels. I’m finding myself becoming extremely frustrated and scared of losing my patience, which isn’t the person I want to be. I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is within the range of normal, if I’m handling things badly, or if this situation just isn’t compatible with my current capacity.
I’m not looking for judgement — I genuinely want to understand whether others have experienced this level of distress, and what helped them get through the working-from-home phase with a young puppy, or how they realised they needed more support or a different path.
Thank you for reading — even writing this has been hard.
submitted by /u/TheVickerstaff
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Pup mostly crate trained… except for mornings.
My pup is about 3 months old, and we’ve had her for almost a month! I don’t expect perfection, I know she’s a baby and will have obstacles. We started crate training on the first day home and she’s been great about it, usually cries for a minute and settles, or just settles immediately.
Except for mornings. I get up for work around 6:30, and I try not to wake her earlier so she doesn’t adjust to that. This morning she woke me up howling around 5:40 but I assumed it was definitely just because she had to pee. I feed her, make sure she poops and pees, then put her away as I leave at 7:20. But, she howls the past couple days after being put away, and I have roommates. They’re mostly understanding but I want to avoid waking them up. Today I just left her in a mostly puppy-proofed room with the sleeping boyfriend and older dog because I had to leave, but it would keep me sane knowing she’s safe in a crate.
Does anyone have any tips?
submitted by /u/Kind-Heart-5954
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