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We recently adopted an older puppy through an ethical rescue and immediately fell in love with her. She was one of the best dogs we've ever met, and though we knew she'd be a lot of work and require love and training, we were excited and committed.

There's a lot of details about what happened but in short, we finalized her adoption after an amazing week as a foster-to-adopt. Then a few days later, she showed some intense reactivity. Unfortunately, her aggression was usually without warning and aimed at our toddlers. This led to the realization that, although she'd been docile as she settled in, she was actually very anxious around the kids. I started to notice how her behavior completely changed when they entered the room.

We don't know what would have happened with more time — maybe she would have been fine, or maybe her behavior would escalate. However, since children were involved, we had to assume that her aggression would continue. Plus we now knew that while we were so happy with her, she wasn't happy with the situation.

I know that people (including me in the past!) get very judgmental about rehoming/returning dogs, but this was a textbook case where it was the right choice for everyone. We honestly could not keep her–she was stressed, our kids were starting to stress about her, and this meant we were on edge all the time. We consulted two trainers (one through the rescue and one private trainer), and the process to get her acclimated and keep the kids safe was not feasible and or fair to anyone. We'd only had her two weeks, so the absolute best choice was to return her to the rescue. The private trainer said as much and while she was willing to work with us, she told us that returning made a lot of sense given the short time we'd had her and the difficulty of making our home safe for everyone.

We know this gives her her best chance. We know she'll be happier, especially since she'll now go somewhere without small kids. It's a wonderful no-kill foster-based rescue that usually works with difficult dogs, and we know she'll find a home soon.

But we are GRIEVING. Buckets of tears, thinking about her all the time, wanting to check her page on the rescue's website, knowing we shouldn't, doing so anyway and then being sad all night. We were okay for the first week, but now it's been closer to two and it's hitting us really hard. We don't regret giving her back, but I wish we'd never met her because then we wouldn't know what we're missing. It's an odd kind of grief because she's not gone — she's out there somewhere and probably very happy, but we don't know where and we're never going to see her again, and we miss her SO MUCH. Every day we miss her.

I just don't know what to do or the best path forward. Has anyone been in this situation? Does it get better? Is there a trick to coping with this sadness?

(In case anyone mentions it–we will not be getting another dog for several years after this for a few different reasons.)

This will be the 3rd time the dog has broken the ac. I rent so I’m worried the owner won’t be happy with the dog damaging the property so many times. My partner just says to get rid of the dog, and maybe he’s right but we’ve had him since he was a puppy so it’s difficult for me to accept. I wasn’t as cautious as u should have been and I hadn’t prioritized protecting the exposed wire to the unit. I tried telling my partner to help with putting something to protect the wires but we never got to it.

Idk we may be asked to move or we can’t renew the lease here since the dog has done this for the 3rd time within the last month. I have to go through them to get my AC fixed I’m pretty sure, so ik they won’t be happy. Any advice?

We moved into the apartment a few months ago. I knew my roommate had a two year old high energy dog but didn’t realize hed only be house trained. He can barely walk on a lease. Ive noticed she refuses to take him on actual walks and just takes him outside to go to the bathroom maybe 15 minutes a day. Because of this he’s insanely bored. Hes very destructive and gets in the trash constantly. We locked the trash and he managed to break the hinges. We crate him and he breaks the crate. Idk what to do, he was alone for 10 minutes and he already got into the trash. I know she has good intentions but theres always an excuse about why she cant do it. I realized he needs to live a better life. Maybe someone has tips to help with talking to the roommate. Ty

I adopted my first dog two weeks ago and to say he’s been a great dog is really an understatement. He’s extremely well mannered and while he needs some reinforcement on good skills it’s evident he was pretty well trained before ending up in a shelter. For context he’s a large dog but I fell in love with him when I met him. Now that I have him and am getting him adjusted to my life there’s always the nagging feeling in my mind of what and when is something going to go wrong. Is he going to tear up the house while I’m gone? Is he going to lunge at a child on a walk? Bark his head off? Snap at ME? He’s shown very few tendencies for any of this but I’m having a hard time settling into accepting that. For those who may have felt similar, how long before you really felt confident in your dog and his training?

I have 3 yard dogs in Jamaica:

– Tippy (1.5 yr castrated male)

– Tilly (8m female, currently in season)

– Mia (stray mom we took in a month ago, wasn’t producing enough milk for her 9 pups—now 6 weeks old and eating kibble).

Mia is protective of her pups. Things were fine until Tuesday when Tilly started a fight with Mia (I was bitten breaking it up). Pups were present.

Wednesday at feeding time, there was teeth-baring, so we kenneled Tilly (no pups present).

Thursday another fight after feeding, quickly broken up, again Tilly kenneled.

It’s not food-related—they all finish their bowls. The issue happens after eating when Mia comes for a stroke, then Tilly approaches, and the fight starts. I was stroking both, so no favouritism.

As yard dogs, I can’t monitor them 24/7. Tomorrow I’ll tether Tilly at feeding time.

I’m new to dogs—could this be because Tilly is in season? The fighting started about a week ago. I’d planned to keep Mia (she’s a sweetheart), but I’m worried about “bad blood” between the females. Is Tilly jealous? Will spaying help?

Mia will be spayed next month (after milk dries up, when mobile vets visit). Tilly will be spayed after her first season.

So far, this has only happened 3 times despite them being together the rest of the day. Any advice appreciated.

She recently regressed with toileting, and with a joint effort from my family we managed to retrain her using treats as soon as she went outside. That was very successful. We’ve got her from peeing in the house multiple times a day to about once a week.

Another behaviour we’d like to tackle is her scrabbling or digging at the furniture before lying down. It used to be minor but recently it’s like she’s doing it just for fun?

Given that overall she isn’t super treat motivated (despite success with re-toilet training using treats) I’m not sure how I should approach this behaviour?

The digging tends to be on a place she wants to lie down – bed, cushion, sofa etc. It used to be to make it more comfortable and for only a second but now she will dig for minutes at a time on a flat surface and seems to enjoy it. Yelling at her doesn’t work, she’s half deaf and ignores us. Holding her down gently hasn’t worked and A tap on the nose hasn’t worked either. I’m not sure how to try positive reinforcement instead but I’m open to it, as I prefer that to punishment.

Please any advice or suggestions are appreciated. 🤞