I just need to vent. Bear with me.
I've wanted a Basenji for years. I have never in my life gone without a dog of my own, from the time I was about 7 years old, until my heart dog passed away in old age and then I moved to a new country for work. Living without a dog felt bizarre, but I knew it was unwise to get a dog in uncertain circumstances. After two years settling into my life abroad, it finally felt like the right time, and I planned for several months. I met with a Basenji breeder in November who was expecting a litter, and after several talks, we agreed it was a perfect fit. By early December, I was able to sign a pre-contract to bring home a puppy in March. I was thrilled!
At the same time, in early December, I started dating and became official with my current boyfriend. Due to unforeseen circumstances, he needed to move in with me in February. Since bringing home the puppy in March (about 3 weeks ago) she is increasingly attached to my bf rather than me, and it's breaking my heart.
I know it's selfish to think this way, but I spent a lot of time, effort, and money to get her, and frankly, she was in my mind long before any notion of a boyfriend came along— "we" did not get a puppy together, I got this puppy for myself and planned for ages. My bf has never had dogs himself, so he has no initiative in her care (nor should he). I am solely responsible for her training and her well-being in general. I get up in the night to take her outside, and I wake up at the crack of dawn to hand-feed her and walk her. I am the exclusive source of food, outside time, mental stimulation, etc. The extent of his contribution is taking her outside to pee maybe once a day (or once every other day), or joining us on a walk now and then.
Yet, she 100% prefers cuddling with him rather than me. If she was previously cuddling with me and he joins on the couch, she will more often than not switch over to him. It's honestly to the point I don't get much cuddling from either of them, because they're curled up on the couch together for hours every day with no room for me lol. She's only 13 weeks, so a lot of her time is spent napping while cuddled up on him. Again, I know this is immature of me, but I'm feeling like chopped liver. She's a dog, so it's not her fault, but I feel so damn unappreciated. Add to this, she is a very bitey girl (typical for Basenji puppies, I know) but especially with me. If I am graced with her on my lap, she is constantly biting, and if she follows me around the house, she is biting at my ankles. Even on walks, she is biting at my pants legs. It's not this bad with my bf, and instead she very sweetly licks his hands or mouthes without biting.
I imagine this is how real mothers feel, tbh! I'm exhausted from keeping up with her, working around her potty schedule, and totally broke. I can't have a social life for the moment, while bf gets to go out, and even if I did go out, that would mean more 1-1 bonding time for them without me around to spoil it. I am not at all complaining about the responsibility of caring for her, I'm happy to do it, but I didn't get a dog just to keep myself busy with more chores. I wanted a canine companion. Instead, I am left feeling more lonely and unloved. Sorry for being so whiny!! I am hoping this will pass!!!
submitted by /u/ditmoique
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