I feel like a horrible person. Severe Puppy Blues and regret with my Border Collie.

I feel like a horrible person. I’ve had dogs my whole life. I’m 26y right now, I’ve always loved them. My last puppy experience was 18 years ago. That puppy grew up to be my soul dog, who I lost earlier this year at the age of 18. A few months later, I decided to get a new one. I did a ton of research, and even knowing it is a super demanding breed, I chose a Border Collie. The first two weeks were amazing. The following two were awful. Now, things are… okay. She is learning. She isn't giving me that much trouble anymore. She is not the problem. I am the problem. I’ve lost interest. It’s been a really rough year for me, but I know that’s no excuse. I lost my old dog, went through a breakup, and I’m working way too much. The truth is, right now I just want to be alone. I just want to isolate myself. I researched so much to get this dog, I was sure it was the right decision, but now I regret it. I don’t know how to go about rehoming her. I do love her. But it’s been so hard. It is eating me alive knowing that she deserves more attention and engagement than I’ve been giving her.

I don’t know if I’ll ever want a dog again. I feel lost.