Hope everyone who reads this finds it well and hopefully can offer me some advice/insight. 23M
Two days ago, my girlfriend of five years [23F] and I [23M] decided to add a new boxer puppy to our home. We already have two older dogs, an 11 year old rat terrier/Chihuahua mix and a 9 year old American Bully. The two dogs we already have were my girlfriend’s family dogs up until about 2 1/2 years ago when we decided we would take them in because we were more equipped to take better care of them. During that process I had bit my tongue and agreed that they could stay with us even though I was extremely reluctant and had never been tasked with caring for dogs as the primary owner. It caused a lot of arguments between us but as time went on I better accepted the responsibility and have grown to absolutely love those dogs with all my heart. So much so that it’s lead to me wanting a puppy to raise from a young age and have the full dog owner experience myself.
This time around though, my girlfriend was the one that was reluctant but admittedly had bit her tongue seeing as I was eager to raise a puppy myself. While I researched and thought I understood how difficult having a puppy would be, I can honestly say I had zero idea it would be so difficult. Since getting our new puppy my I have been exhausted and drained but still giving my all to the puppy while trying to balance still giving attention to my girlfriend and my two other dogs. This has caused a huge riff in our relationship because she claims that she “only said yes” because of how happy she assumed it would make me and had a “gut feeling” that things would take a turn for the worst.
To make matters worse, my puppy has been diagnosed with Giardia and Coccidia so now I have to essentially quarantine her away from my two other dogs in a ONE BED APARTMENT, having a yard helps a bit but it is NOT ideal.
My girlfriend hasn’t been very happy lately with her lack of career opportunities after recently getting her masters, she hasn’t been happy with the management at her current job and how disorganized and honestly nasty they are there, and she hasn’t been happy with the fact that 6 months ago we moved to an entirely different state which she is not the biggest fan of. And this puppy has added so much fuel to the fire. Her home life and my attention/care for her was the only thing keeping her sane and now that I must attend to this puppy she feels confused and helpless right now. I genuinely hate to see her like this.
It makes me feel terrible for wanting a puppy, it makes me feel like a terrible partner for not being able to attend and care for her like I usually do, it makes me feel terrible because my two current dogs could possibly get sick from our new puppy and I’m feeling so much regret right now.
I told her if she really couldn’t manage then I would call friends and family and consider re-homing our new puppy to a family that can take better care of her and she says she would feel like a monster if we had to give her up, but she’ll be driven insane if the puppy stays and things don’t get better. She says that she is considering moving back to our old state 1,000+ miles away back in with her mother as she can not take it if her home is just going to feel as unhappy and draining as it is.
I feel like I have failed myself, my relationship and my current pets and I have no idea want to do right now.
Balancing all of this with a full time job is honestly the most stressful situation I’ve been in my 23 years of life and I want to know will it get better? Can it get better?
Have I doomed myself and my relationship?
Am I a terrible partner? Am I a terrible dog owner?
Man idk, I hope this is just the worst case of puppy blues on earth but I know the puppy is just causing a flare up of things independent of her existence. I love my girlfriend so much and I just hope I can make the right decision before our relationship is destroyed.
submitted by /u/CardInternational475
[link] [comments]