Feeling overwhelmed… thinking about rehoming.

Hi everyone,

I really need some honest advice. I have a 6 month old mini poodle, and I’ve been her sole caregiver since she was a tiny puppy. I love her, but lately I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed. My life is already chaotic with work, personal responsibilities, and travel, and adding her care on top of everything feels like a constant source of stress.

She has AKC STAR Puppy training, and I’ve tried to implement routines and training consistently, but nothing has really improved. I’m happiest when she’s in her crate asleep. When she’s not, I’m constantly on edge, waiting for her next accident. She barks at thin air, sometimes acts aggressively or whines, and jumps up on the gate while I’m trying to work or do things around the house.

Two weekends ago, I spent my entire birthday weekend deep cleaning her crate and bedroom after back-to-back accidents, even though she hadn’t had crate accidents for months prior to this. It’s exhausting and emotionally draining.

This past week I’ve been sick with a respiratory illness, and it’s really made everything feel ten times harder. Just managing my symptoms while trying to take care of a puppy has completely exasperated the stress of being a dog owner. I’ve found myself feeling irritable and angry in ways I normally wouldn’t, constantly on edge, and it’s making me think about the long-term reality of this responsibility and whether I can realistically keep up with it.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on her adoption fee, vaccines, boarding, and daycare costs. I did my research for years and wanted her for a long time before finally getting her, and I actually quit my job partly to focus on her, helping her adjust and training her properly. I was unemployed for the first four months I had her, but even then it felt like I had a full-time job. When I did start working again, it’s remote, but it still feels so hard.

I’ve been thinking about rehoming her, and the thought makes me feel really guilty and honestly like a failure. At the same time, keeping her feels like I’m always responsible for someone else, and there’s something extra I always have to plan for. I also know rehoming might give me some breathing room and freedom in my life.

I’m not neglectful. She’s healthy, vaccinated, is scheduled for a spay next week, and has had basic training. I’m just unsure if I can realistically continue giving her the attention and care she deserves.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you know it was the right choice to rehome your dog, or to keep going despite feeling overwhelmed? I’d really appreciate your perspective.

Thanks so much for reading.