I've been uncontrollably crying for 40 mins (had to pull myself together as I'm going to the vet). We've had our lovely westie puppy for 3 1/2 weeks, and we got him at 12 weeks.
We knew it was going to be hard. We knew we were going to get things wrong. We've looked at so much advice, and got loads of toys, chews, and other nice things for him. My freezer is full of frozen cloths, carrots, kongs). The trainers and groomer commented on how confident he was, and how smart.
But things aren't improving. They are getting worse. He doesn't sleep anywhere near enough – he got up today at 8.30am. It is now 6pm and he's had a total of maybe 3 hours of rest (not all sleeping). He can't self-regulate and settle. He's got such a low frustration tolerance threshold and is constantly over-stimulated. We can't sit with him when he is in his crate/pen because it doesn't soothe him – instead he just gets increasingly frustrated he can't be with us. This means we can't train him because he isn't in the right mindset. He does know some commands but we can barely practice them anymore.
People just recommend the same advice (a regular structure, enforce naps, use edible chews, Lickimats, snuffle mats, various toys, music, exercise in moderation etc.). We tried so many things and it is getting worse and worse. The standard advice does not work for a dog like this. Poor little guy.
We have reached out to a lady who specialises in frustration in dogs and this is really our last hope. Waiting to hear from her. Even then we aren't sure that we will be able to give him the time and energy he needs to feel better and have a good life, as we can't take more time off work (ETA- I can work from home, but still) We are having to accept that we might not be the right home for him and grieving the life we imagined. His crate has a little name tag and I cried at the thought of him not being in it anymore.
Yes part of how I am feeling is the puppy blues, but this is way beyond what we anticipated. What do I do?
submitted by /u/JigWM
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