Desperately need sleep help!

I brought my puppy home a little over two weeks ago now, she’s a 12 week old border collie. I’m having real trouble with nighttime and in desperate need of some advice.

On her first night home, I’ll admit I made a HUGE mistake in having her sleep in my bed, she really struggled to settle in at home at all let alone during the night and it felt like an easy fix. As soon as I let her in my bed I knew it was a mistake I would pay for (and I am!). I got her from a farm where she was staying in a barn stall next to a pony so I can only imagine going from that to a warm house with cuddles and attention was a big change for her.

After that, her crate was placed in my bedroom at the end of the bed, adjacent to the foot of the bed. I quickly learnt that she would panic when the crate door closed (something she is now improving with, as I have been putting time aside each day toward crate training – some days are a lot better than others). She won’t sleep if the crate is completely covered, so even now the sides and back are covered and the front is uncovered. She also won’t sleep without being able to see me before she goes to sleep. At first, I had to sleep on the floor next to her crate with the door open and gradually moved to quietly closing the door after she’d been asleep a little while.

About a week ago, I moved the crate downstairs to the living room as it was impractical in the bedroom and I was also hoping it would help prevent any separation anxiety issues before it got too severe. Since then, I have been sleeping on the sofa. This is because she still won’t sleep at night if she can’t see me, and I have to sit next to the crate until she falls asleep otherwise she won’t sleep. I’m typing this while waiting for her to go to sleep so I can close the crate door and sneak over to the sofa so I can sleep myself. Strangely, she naps regularly in the day whether I’m there or not, and doesn’t seem to care if I’m even in the same room as her during the day. She only has this problem at night.

Daytimes were going quite well and she was opting to nap in the crate (which was huge progress for her!) until a few days ago. I live with a friend who has been off work recently with the flu and the other day brought her duvet downstairs for a duvet day on the sofa and had pup on the sofa asleep with her all day. A day or two after I watched on the camera as my puppy managed to get herself onto the sofa for the first time while home alone. Since then, she often cries in the night as though she needs the toilet but instead runs straight over to the sofa because she’d rather sleep there. Obviously I take her out for a silent potty break then place her straight back in the crate.

Long term, I’d have no issues with her having free roam of the living room at night, like she does in the day, and sleeping on the sofa if she wishes but she isn’t fully toilet trained yet and has had accidents in the living room within the last few days.

I really need advice on how I can get her to sleep independently at night, other than it being good for her to gain that independence, I’d really love to sleep in my bed again. It’s worth noting also that at night, the living room door is kept closed as I also have a 7 month old kitten who, in true older sister fashion, loves nothing more than tormenting my puppy who just wants to chase after her and play.

Any help would be hugely appreciated – I had a sprocker spaniel previously and I know that each breed and each dog is entirely different but he was the easiest puppy in the world in comparison. I’ve had a lot of comments from family members/friends about anything I’m “doing wrong” or not doing, but I have to remind them that I am caring for her completely on my own while they all had partners/other family help with their pups and I seem to have a very sensitive puppy. I’m at a loss at what more I can do and after only two weeks I already feel like I’m failing my pup.