Hi! I think what I need most right now is peer support and maybe personal experiences about puppy blues and/or possibly rehoming a dog. I know I’ve made many mistakes, and I hope for kind comments—I’m already extremely anxious, but I want to be brutally honest about this situation. 😞 I also want to mention that despite everything, the dog is doing well and is not suffering.
My partner and I brought home a puppy at the end of the year, and now he is already 5 months old. He is an active primitive breed (not a husky!). My husband had wanted a dog for years, and I feel like we thought about it for a long time before deciding that the timing was right. Looking back, though, we still moved too fast—that was the first mistake. We had planned many hobbies to do with the dog, and although we are generally active and outdoorsy people, I STUPIDLY thought that an active dog would make us even more active—that was the second mistake. The idea was that my husband would take primary responsibility for the dog.
As soon as the puppy arrived, I experienced very intense puppy blues that I hadn’t been prepared for. The situation was made worse by the fact that the puppy barely slept at all, and I became seriously ill myself, so I had no energy whatsoever. We got through the worst of it, and for a while things were going well. The puppy learned quickly, and I feel we did a good job with basic training from an early age, which I’m proud of, especially since this is traditionally a harder-to-motivate breed and our first dog. However, new problems began to appear: quite suddenly, just before 4 months of age, the puppy developed separation anxiety, even though being alone had initially gone very well. On top of that, he still chases our cat, and we constantly have to keep them separated. Training has not brought success in this area. The breeder had accustomed the puppies to cats, but living peacefully with our cat has not worked out.
At the same time, my work and study stress increased significantly, and I noticed that my partner’s interest in the dog began to collapse, even though it was originally supposed to be his project. This led to major relationship conflicts. Things are better now, but most of the responsibility for the dog has shifted to me. I have a history of anxiety and depression (+ ADD), and even though I thought I was on “stable ground,” I now find myself constantly anxious and exhausted.
So the situation is this: I have a growing, super-energetic young dog with separation anxiety, and I am largely responsible for him while also struggling significantly with my own mental health. Even though I’ve grown attached to the dog and am trying to provide the best possible life for him, I am completely drained and constantly anxious, and I deeply regret getting a dog. 😭 I also feel immense guilt for putting an innocent dog in this situation and clearly not thinking the breed—or having a dog in general—through carefully enough (of course, I also didn’t expect that exercising and activating the dog would mainly fall on me). In addition, with my studies (medicine) and work, I don’t have the possibility to be home constantly with a dog who has separation anxiety, nor do I really have the money to hire a sitter all the time—they are extremely expensive here. Our cat is clearly suffering as well, having to hide from the dog while we constantly divide up their territories.
I’m not exactly sure what I hope to achieve by writing this—maybe some kind of peer support about rehoming a dog or about keeping an active dog while dealing with mental health challenges. Maybe some advice on separation anxiety or helping a dog adjust to a cat. Or even just some kind words in general, because I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt this exhausted. Thank you, and I’m sorry! 🫶🏼
submitted by /u/Then_Skirt8821
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