9 week old puppy! New dog mummy needs some help!

Hi all!

I’m a new dog mum to a 9-week-old cocker spaniel and could really use some advice.

It’s just me in a one-bedroom apartment, I WFH (with one office day), and the last few days have been non-stop puppy. I can’t even cook or go to the bathroom properly. I really want to build some healthy independence from the start so she doesn’t end up with separation anxiety, but we’re struggling.

I’m trying to follow the “1 hour up / 2 hours down” thing. In that hour we do potty, training, sniffing games, play, food + water. But she now stays awake 2+ hours and hits overtired meltdown mode. From the 1-hour mark I’m already trying to settle her.

Daytime crate/playpen is the hardest part for the past 3 days). She cries the second I close the door (which I do rarely as I don’t want to traumatise her or make the crate seem a unsafe space or punishment) leaving treats aren’t motivating her at all. If the crate on the other hand is open, she walks straight out. She’ll only nap if she’s right next to me while I work or literally on top of me on the couch. She may stay in her crate but only if I’m next to it. When she’s overtired the chewing/biting goes wild.

What’s confusing is that at night, she sleeps perfectly fine in her crate with the door closed — as long as it’s right next to me.

I’ve started giving a bully stick or frozen carrot at the end of the wake window to help her wind down, but she still won’t settle alone.

Also some silly potty questions because I’m a complete newbie and literally questioning everything I’m doing. – If she pees immediately outside, do we go in? Or wait for a possible poop? – And how long should we stay out for a potty break in general? I feel like I go outside now with her 3 times nearly during her wake up period – Do I engage/play while waiting, or make it a super boring, non-event time?

She’s also a super fussy eater and nowhere near the recommended amount which may be contributing to all the regression, so I’m slowly switching foods to help.

We do have a lovely trainer (first session was Monday!), but I’m still feeling pretty lost and already a shitty dog mum. Is all this normal for 9 weeks? Any advice would be amazing.