It’ll be easier if I just do this in a bulleted list.
1.) She is a Coton De Tulear (small dog, similar to a Havanese or Bichon). She is 14 weeks old. She’s very sweet and cuddly. Very clingy too.
2.) We have a 3 year old son (turning 4 in February). He requires a lot of attention. Since bringing the puppy home his behavior has been INSANELY DIFFICULT to deal with. He has been extremely emotional. One minute fine, then the second you say he can’t do the thing he’s doing because it’s unsafe [insert other reason] he goes ballistic. He never used to do this. He will not listen to us at all. We have to repeat ourselves constantly to him and are doling out timeouts like there’s no tomorrow. He is GREAT with the puppy. They get along well. He loves having her. I have been working very hard to make sure my time and attention is evenly distributed between him and the puppy but at the end of the day, my attention IS divided. Something our son isn’t used to. He is super sweet and has been asking for a dog.
3.) I spent almost a year researching this breed and puppies in general. I am an over preparer, and over thinker. I thought I was prepared for it all.
4.) We use a puppy playpen and crate. She goes in both regularly. Sometimes she whines just a little then settles down. Sometimes she goes on and on and on whining. It just depends (on what? I don’t know).
5.) She pees and poops outside with no problem. However, she can be outside for 20/30 minutes playing, pees and poops, then we come inside, and she pees 15 minutes later. Sometimes we go outside so she can potty, she goes, we come back in, and 5 minutes later she pees again. She has never signaled to us that she needs to go out. She has never walked to the door or touched the bells with her nose. I am exhausted. I take her outside CONSTANTLY and feel on edge between her and our toddler (he is 95% potty trained-can sometimes pee himself if he is playing too hard and not listening to his body). Like I have to constantly keep an eye out. She does not free roam in the house. She holds her pee all night (8 hours) at least! I just wish she could let me know already when she has to go out. Vet said she has no bladder issues.
6.) She is smart and has been trained to do things like sit, down, leave it, play dead, and come.
7.) My mental and physical health is suffering already from the extra overstimulation and constantly having to correct my toddler’s new less compliant behavior. Between the dog whining or barking, her potty training, our son’s behavioral issues now, and lack of my husband’s and my old routine, the situation is becoming a major concern (hence why I’m posting here).
8.) I have owned other puppies before. I handled them just fine. But I also didn’t have a child then.
9.) Paying for puppy daycare is not an option right now.
10.) My husband is really indifferent about the situation. He would basically be happy to get rid of her tomorrow. He likes her and all but he really doesn’t care one way or the other what happens. He just wants me to be happy and not stressed. He also feels bad that our son isn’t getting as much attention.
11.) I am the puppy and our son’s main caretaker. Husband helps when he can.
TLDR: After spending almost a year researching having a puppy and a toddler at the same time, I felt confident that I could manage it. Turns out, I am struggling hard. I am beginning to feel like giving her back to the breeder may be in everyone’s best interest. My two biggest complaints/stresses-how my son is behaving since getting the puppy and the puppy peeing 10 minutes after going potty outside which then requires me to stop doing what I’m doing constantly to take her out again. Vet said she has no bladder issues.