rehoming 10week old puppy

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for in writing this post I guess I just need to get this off my chest- to preface I live with my parents, brother and sister (11 and 19)

For a couple of months I’ve been searching for a puppy to be a friend to my sisters 2yr old JRT who likes other dogs but is unpredictable with them on meeting (unsocialised as puppy) – might snap at them unless theyre super friendly/submissive/female etc (with some exceptions) so we try to avoid other dogs on walks altogether unless we warn the other dog walker beforehand. So I just assumed he wants to be friends with dogs just doesnt fully know how

So a week ago I found a 9week old female JRT puppy online, came home with it- they didnt meet outside the house just got used to eachothers smell/presence for 2 days then they met and were fine and playing. 2yr old is rough when playing (probably because he wasnt socialised/just likes tackling) and we usually have to intervene when it gets too one-sided. Im just thinking he may prefer to be the only dog. We do let him correct her and praise him as he is an anxious dog

Anyway thats all fine and good but the problem is I’ve had a past of anxiety/depression and I thought it was mostly gone. Until the 2nd day of getting the puppy I got puppy blues bad. Ive been crying everyday since then & worrying about everything concerning this puppy- training, me not having enough sleep, worrying about watching them playing so she doesnt get badly injured, cleaning mess, dreading future training, etc. Now I wouldnt mind usually but I’m doing most of this myself – my family has work & school. I work from home (freelancer) & I havent had time to do things I want to do or work. Yes family plays with the puppy/train but not for very long then its up to me again- feeding, sleep schedules, training. Ive been trying to make pup not too reliant on only me. Ive asked one of my parents if they can take a bit of time off work (or less hours) just to give me a break for a day but they said no (they really want me to keep this puppy but I dont think I can do it anymore)

My whole world now revolves around this puppy. Ive not been eating well and have lost weight. Ive been drinking during the afternoon to get thru the day- I /was/ sober for 3 months (was heavily reliant for 8 yrs). Ive been so tired I dont feel like doing any training with it and it makes me feel so bad because shes so smart (I am still training her just feeling drained)

Today I was looking at fostering services which seems better for the pup than being in a pound. Usually I’d be crying right now while its sleeping but I just feel so calm and relaxed knowing that it might leave. I know Im a bad owner. I keep regretting ever getting it. But I want it to have a good home while its still young and can hopefully bounce back quickly. Shes a very happy pup & loves people. I just am hesitating bc I feel bad for my family cos they like it Also we are moving house in a couple days. I dont want to move her to a new house only to rehome as Im guessing might cause stress