We adopted an 8 week old shepherd/collie/boxer/supermutt mix. She is very sweet and chill, but I am failing at potty and crate training and I am exhausted and don't know if I've made a terrible decision (we are a family of 3, owned an adult rescue dog before, but never a pup).
She can't go outside for at least several weeks due to not finishing parvo vaccines. I know there are mixed feelings about this, but we live on 6 acres, have wild animals and who knows what else through our yard that we can't control (not fenced), and this pup came from a rescue that had 11 puppies fighting parvo (different litter) when we adopted. I've read and read on puppy pad training and she's occasionally successful with pee, never poo, but mostly not successful. I place her on the pad during all the times I'm supposed to throughout the day (after waking, after playing, etc. etc.). She sometimes pees, usually whines and tries to escape, and sometimes lays down and goes to sleep on it. I put her in the playpen when she doesn't pee which happens most often, then try again, and still nothing.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to crate train as well. There is a soft mat for her to sleep on and she hasn't soiled it at night yet, but during the day, while trying to build positive associations by leaving toys in there, occasional treats, and feeding in there (all with the door open), she goes in and uses it to pee and poo. Of course, I'm afraid this will now become a nightly habit as well. At night, she has woken a typical amount for a pup and peed when I let her out when she stirred, but then she proceeds to whine and howl in distress. I let her whine for about 10 minutes (I saw mixed feedback on this–some say let them go 10-15 mins, some say only 1 min) but she kept going. I keep the crate in my bedroom at night. I'm able to console her but then I lay awake and worry all night about her waking others in the house and I wake exhausted and she wakes at 4am. I can't seem to tire her out either. She's a pup and sleeps a lot but doesn't really want play. I feel so bad for her not being able to go outside and romp but inside she just wants to sleep. She might squeak or chew a toy a bit (we have a kong, rope, benebone, and non-stuffed duck) but barely anything to wear her out.
I've read so much about these topics, my head is spinning. Is there anything anyone can offer to help that I'm missing? I know it takes time but I feel like I've made zero progress.
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