When is it time to rehome a loved dog?

i made a reddit account just to post about this since i feel like i have no one to talk to

I have been thinking that i should rehome my dog, she is going to turn two yrs old next month and I’ve had her since she was 3 months old. she has always been pretty anxious and for a long time i thought it was just her age or the environment she was in. i lived in an apartment for a year with her, but since moving into a house she has not gotten any better.

whenever i leave the house (i work a full time job but stay home on the weekends) she will eat and destroy anything she can get her paws on. in the apartment she ate anything from the actual walls and trim, to a 3ds and a bookshelf. when i moved i tried keeping her contained to a room and thought the environment change, as well as being able to go outside freely would help her, but she only became more destructive when i was gone. shes eaten her way through two doors and then ate anything she could find, trash, electrical cords, full lego sets. she won’t even go outside to do her business unless im outside with her despite having a fenced backyard. she will just howl at the door for me to come out with her.

i can’t do anything on the weekends and anytime i do have plans im constantly checking on the camera feed to her room, if she starts to freak out too much i have to race home and hope she hasn’t hurt herself tearing at the walls or trim. i feel out of my depth and even after they prescribed her anxiety meds months ago, it hasn’t helped. i have a pretty steep mortgage and can’t pay to have her trained or to see a behaviorist.

i feel so guilty and ashamed that i haven’t helped her enough and i wish more than anything that i could be home with her 24/7.

and as much as ive talked about her issues it only happens when im not home. when im home she is the sweetest dog ever, she is a super smart girl with lots and lots of personality, shes sassy and vocal and loves a good cuddle. she has been my baby so long i can’t imagine a world where shes not in my life but i know she would honestly benefit from more help or having a bigger family that already has some dogs for her to play with. i haven’t been able to stop crying since thinking about this decision but the more i think about it the more i worry that what she needs i can’t provide for her.

if anyone has any advice or a similar story id love to hear it and see other’s perspectives on it all