Struggling mentally with potty training my 8-week-old golden retriever

Hi everyone,

I’m just looking for some advice or encouragement because I’m struggling a bit mentally with potty training my new puppy.

I brought home my 8-week-old golden retriever five days ago, and honestly, she’s been amazing. She loves her crate, naps well, and sleeps through the night from 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. without any issues. She’s such a sweetheart and basically perfect — except for me overthinking the potty training part.

She hasn’t had any accidents in two days, which is great, but I think I’m going way too overboard. She naps for about two hours, then is awake for around an hour and a half. During her awake time, I’m taking her outside constantly. I’ve read on here that you’re supposed to take puppies out after naps, after play, and after food or water — which basically ends up meaning I’m taking her out every 20 minutes. (Because I don’t understand – if she’s not doing any of those activities when she’s awake what else is she supposed to be doing?) Most of the time she doesn’t even have to pee, and I feel like I’m exhausting myself trying to prevent any accident from happening.

I’m also scared to leave her alone when she’s awake. I stay in her playpen with her because I’m worried she’ll pee if I’m not watching. If she even starts to lie down/sit, I panic and take her outside “just in case.” Then she just looks at me for 5 minutes, doesn’t pee, and I end up bringing her back in — only to try again a few minutes later (I try the putting her in a crate for 5 minutes and then rebring her out.) It’s like I’m stuck in this constant loop, and I think it’s going to wear me down eventually. I’m also too nervous to have people come over in case it messes up her schedule and she has an accident.

I think I’m doing it out of fear — I really want her to be potty trained, and I’m terrified that a few accidents a day will undo all of our progress. But I’ve also heard that taking her out too often might actually slow things down since she never learns to “hold it.”

So I guess my questions are: • Am I going overboard and making this harder on both of us? • Or should I have this level of intensity in the early days? • Could taking her out so frequently hurt her bladder training? • And how do I give her (and myself) a little breathing room without risking setbacks?

Thank you for reading all of this. I really do love her so much — she’s such a happy, sweet puppy — I’m just struggling to find the balance between being responsible and being obsessive. Reading through other posts here has really helped me already, so thank you for that too. ❤️